It's okay to be pregnant......

She told me she was pregnant. We were both just 16. If only I knew then, what I know now, I would have told her, that it was okay to be pregnant, and how incredibly blessed she was. I can't help thinking, if only I had the right words to tell her then, things might have been different.

But like I said, we were just 16. And at 16, life was all about school, boyfriends, clothes, scholarships and getting into a good college. We thought having a baby meant losing all of it.

She was petrified  to tell her parents. The guy who got her pregnant told her to abort the baby, and that he would marry her as soon as he got a job. Then they could have another baby. I was the only support she had. We thought of telling her parents once, but we were afraid they’d throw a hissy fit, that they might even throw her out, given her dad’s status in church and community. She said she couldn’t bear the thought of disappointing them. She knew they would be broken. They were so proud of her. They were planning to send her to one of the best colleges.

 Finally, she decided to take the drastic step, which we both agreed was the best thing for her. We cried over the phone. It was a difficult decision for someone so young. How I wish I was a wiser, better friend.

If only I could go back, and tell her what I know now, I’d tell her not to be afraid and that abortion is just the easy way out for someone who doesn’t have the courage to deal with his/her own actions, and it only serves to hide the so-called embarrassment from others around you, your friends, church and the whole social community. I should've made her understand, that it was her body, and she have the right and the strength to say ‘NO’ to abortion.

I would’ve told her to talk to her parents immediately, because parents are the ones who love  you the most. They might be angry out of shock and disappointment, they might even yell at you and ask what the heck you were thinking, but they will eventually understand in time. They only wanted what is good for you, and they will love you and support you no matter how much you disappointed them. And if you ever did have the baby, they will be the one who would love your child the most.

I wish I had the wisdom to tell her how my mom had me when she was 17, and how no one,  not even my own dad, was there to love and support her. But she made it through, with a lot of strength and maturity, and never once in her life did my mom ever regret having me. And I’m so grateful to my mom for that, for giving me life.  

How I wish I’d assure her that it wasn’t going to be all roses, not until the day she heard her baby’s first cry, that simple joy of holding her child for the very first time.

If only I knew then, I’d tell her that it is okay to be pregnant, then things might have been different.