First kiss..

A few days back, my girlfriends and I were sharing experiences of our first kiss. So, I thought I’d share mine with you too.

My first kiss happened when I was 4 years old with a boy L. We were of the exact same age. I do not really remember anything about it now, but my mom kept this picture of us kissing, so sweet it looked just like it had been cut right out of an Archies card.

As we grow up, everyone who saw the picture used to make fun of it and teased that one day we would eventually get married. As for L, he grew up to be a sweet, awkward kid. Growing up, we were in different schools. He was the shy, quiet kind and I was the one with many friends. I guess he did not come around much anymore. We never became friends after.

One fateful morning, a terrible news flooded our community. L had commited suicide. Rumour has it that he was having some serious problems in school. He was just 14 years old. The news spread like fire. Everyone in school who knew him talked about what a sweet person he was. I did not go to his funeral, but my friend told me that there were more flowers than any funeral she had ever been.

So, even though I do not remember much about him, whenever people talk about first kiss, I’d always tell his name. And whoever other guys who would like to claim the title of being “My first kiss”, I’m afraid they just don’t stand a chance. Thanks to the beautiful boy who left me beautiful memories.

Two babies........

(Dedicated to Rosie)

Two babies were born today.

The first baby has been named "John" by his grandmother. Baby John’s birth has been awaited with much anticipation and excitement. A big party has been planned by his parents to celebrate his arrival. A baby nursery with beautiful beige interior, pastel shade walls and cork flooring, with an expensive baby crib and masses of toys and stuffed animals was waiting for baby John’s return from the hospital. His father, a successful entrepreneur, wants his new born son to become a doctor and he have his whole future and career insured. Newly born baby John is chubby and healthy, because his mother never missed a single doctor appointment and was nourished with the best possible diet during her pregnancy.

The name of the second baby is "Matthew". Today, baby Matthew lost his mother while giving birth to him, succumbing to the injuries imposed by her drunken boyfriend who had been threatening her to abort the baby. His father had been hospitalized for a month due to excessive alcohol consumption, and the doctors aren’t sure whether he is gonna make it. Baby Matthew have no other relatives to take care of him. There is just one uncle, the father’s younger brother, but he refused to take Matthew, claiming he cannot even provide for his own children. Today baby Matthew was handed in the care of an orphanage run by the Roman Catholic Church. A worker in the orphanage was fighting back her tears as she held baby Matthew in her arms, contemplating upon how God could allow such wretched fate for such harmless, innocent child.

God loves both baby John and baby Matthew equally, not one bit more, not one bit less. He knew them even before they were born. He placed them in their mothers’ womb. He had their whole life planned, and will prepare them for glorious living. He planned that baby John will one day grow up to be a world leader who would promote peace and save nations. As for baby Matthew, God planned that he would one day grow up to be a Pastor and will lead many lives to God.

                      If only we have the patience to wait for what God planned for us.

Meanwhile in Mission Veng......

It was a very cheerful, happy day for a certain family who lives in Mission Veng, Aizawl.  It was the much anticipated day when their beloved, darling daughter was coming home from a far away university where she finally earned her post graduate degree, to finally stay at home forever.

Everyone in the family had eagerly waited for the day, and there had been much preparation and planning by each member of the family. The mother had prepared all of the daughter’s favorite dishes for dinner. She marinated  chicken the previous night, all ready to be put in the oven. The previous day she cleaned the daughter’s room, change the curtains, bed sheets and even re-paint the room light green, the daughter’s favorite color.

The 16 year old brother was the one who did most of the planning and hardwork. He even got up at 9 in the morning on a Saturday, because he had to shift all his stuffs like empty potato chips packets, cigarette ashes, pile of comics, game CDs and unwashed garments which he had littered in his sister's room during her absence.

Even the uncle took the day off from work only to pick her up from the airport. As he was waiting for his niece at Lengpui airport, he called her up and asked her where she was. The girl told him that she just landed at Kolkatta airport and would board the flight to Aizawl within one hour. Then the uncle called the girl’s mom.

“She just landed at Kolkatta. She’ll be home within two hours”, the uncle said to the mother.

Then, the mother called the grandmother to inform her about the same. Then, the grandmother informed the uncle’s wife, the uncle’s wife informed the aunty, the aunty then informed the cousins, and the cousins informed the neighbours. The neighbours then informed the neighbours' kids, who then informed the cats. Thus, it was a vicious circle. Then everyone gathered at the house, including the neighbour's cat, waiting for the V V I P, with their own personal motives in sublime anticipation, each with the big question in mind i.e. "What would she bring for me this time?" 

Yes, it was a happy day for everyone, not only because the girl was so keenly missed since she was a really nice girl, but everyone knew very well how their lives was going to be much better with the girl now staying at home.

It had been a busy year for the family, and the mother knew once her daughter gets home, she would be relieved of 70% of the household chores. She can now attend her social gatherings, shopping and church events without worrying for a second who will cook for dinner and who would do the laundry. She can even sleep late on a school day without worrying about the boys’ tiffin.

The 16 year old brother knew once her sister gets home, he would be freed from his mom’s tyranny, relieved from his bonded labour to clean the dishes and taking out the garbage.

The 10 year old brother was happy because now he had someone to cook maggi for him, anytime in the night.

The auntie with three kids and a baby had eagerly waited for this day, because she would now have a nanny free of cost to babysit her children.

The grandmother thought to herself, once her grand-daughter gets home, she would have someone to massage her back or pick her grey hair anytime she wants, and by anytime, it means anytime!

All the cousins, especially the girls, were keenly waiting for their sister, because they cannot wait to raid her closet and take whatever clothes they wanted.

The neighbours and the neighbour’s kids too, had eagerly anticipated the girl’s return, because she would bring goodies and sweets for everyone.

It was indeed a happy day for a certain family in Mission Veng.

My Delhi Woes....

I am usually the kind of person who adapts. But even after living in Delhi for the past two years, I just could not develop that liking or feeling of belongingness.

I’ve been to places all over India and I bet you’d agree, Delhi is among one of the worst places to live. Even the people living in it will admit it is not a very glamorous destination, which is stupefying given the fact that it is the capital city and the biggest education and tourism hub in the country. Infrastructure wise, yes, I agree it probably is the strongest (metros, airport etc.) but if you talk in terms of statistics and an environment conducive for women, the place is not exactly a traveller’s delight.

Apart from my personal first bad impression and experiences, I have listed few points why I don’t like the place.

Not safe for girls: In light of the recent tragic rape incident and a survey by TOI which reveals that Delhi ranks the highest in rape and sexual abuse cases, and 76 per cent of women claimed that they have been sexually abused in one way or the other 

Pollution:  Delhi is amongst the most polluted cities in India and the number of deaths and other related health effects have been increasing at an alarming rate.   

Link :New Delhi air pollution worse than Beijing 

Autorickshaws do not use meter: Delhi autowallahs never agree to go by meter. As a result, people like me who cannot speak fluent Hindi and aren’t familiar with the place are cheated over and over again by autowallahs. It’s like we’re held ransom by a tyranny of autodrivers. I remember the time when I paid 70 rupees from South ex to I.N.A station, which by meter costs just 30 rupees. I can only imagine the woes of the foreigners and tourist commuters. Clearly the transport department is flawed somewhere.

 No good place to hang out: This might not be true for everyone, but if you’re a person like me who do not enjoy going to pubs and night clubs and parties, your only hangout places are the shopping malls. I guess what I meant to say is I miss Mumbai’s Marine drive and my college and Chowpatty beach :-))

Delhi kinda made me hate momos: There was a time I considered momos as rare, authentic cuisine and exotic savory because when I was in Mumbai, there was just one place near Vashi station where you get momos. When I came to Delhi, momos were at every corner which I loved at first, but overtime it just don’t appeal to me anymore since they were everywhere. So, I sort of blamed Delhi for it :-)

One cannot find a decent falooda or a fruit juice shop whom you can trust and uses Bisleri water 

The extreme weather is intolerable, the screaming crowd, the never ending horn blasts, the pedestrians, the animal feces, litter, the roadside dumps and the trash everywhere!! 

On my defense, there are a lot of things I liked about Delhi too. The friends, the mizo church, the rickshaw pullers who are really decent men unlike most autowallahs, the shopping places and many more. It might not be the best place to live, but definitely worth a visit.

Ok!! So here's the thing........

The other day, I was transferring movies from my friend Esther’s laptop, and unknowingly, I copied some porn clips along with it. Yeah right..how was I suppose to know it was porn? I swear I did not know it was porn!

It  so happened that the next day in class, my laptop was connected to an LCD projector for a lecture. So before the professor arrived, my friends and I were watching some music videos and movies in my laptop on the lcd projector. Then I accidentally opened the porn clip, thinking it was perhaps some new movie. I had saved it on the desktop with a bunch of other movies and I played it, in front of the whole class. 

I could’ve died of embarrassment if it weren’t for my friend who turned it off immediately before the rest of the class saw it. Otherwise I could have been forever called “The girl with porn in her laptop”. Geez!! Why do these things keep happening to me ?!! :-))

On death and dying.....

Last night before bed, I opened my facebook account when I saw the  news about the death of a very beautiful person I know splashed across my homepage. There were status updates and facebook groups paying tributes about what a wonderful person he was and grieving how he went so unexpectedly.

 I was just so sad. A pang of pain hit my heart. How can someone so beautiful, so full of life and vibrant die just like that? Why do he have to die so young?  My thoughts went to the family of the deceased. I know how hard it is to see your loved ones die. It is a gut wrenching trauma that rips your heart  because you can’t comprehend the finality and totality of death. It felt like the ultimate separation and ultimate leaving of someone you love so much, so final that there is no going back. It seems like all you could  do is hold their hand at their last moments in the house while the Pastor gives the final tribute, and you know there’s nothing you can do to stop it and you sat there biting your lips while tears flood your face while you are absorbed by disbelief of truth as sharp as knife.

Then it made me think about my own mortality, and everyone elses. One day y’know our time will come. I know it’s too morbid or gruesome to think about it if we are healthy and happy. But death is real and sooner or later it’s gonna happen. It could be a car accident, a disease, an epidemic, cancer, a plane crash! A small lump in the throat could paralyze me with fear.

 I am so afraid of my loved ones dying. Sometimes I keep thinking what would I do if someone I love died. If my brother do not come home late at night, I start worrying whether he’ll come home safe or not. I know it’s being selfish but I always wished I’d die first. It’s just that it’s something I can never come to terms with though I know it’s inevitable.

I thought about my life today and what I’ve done with it. What if I have just one more day to live? What if I were to die today?  What if someone I love die today? I am so scared of it that all I could do is seek the Lord because I know only He can provide comfort. God created us, put us on earth for a reason, and I somehow believe  when  he takes back from us, when we thought  God has taken our loved ones away from us, I’m sure He’ll have a reason too. His ways are always perfect and He knows what’s best for us, and only in that faith can I gain comfort. Just maybe, in these diminishments, we can best experience God's love for us, for in our powerlessness, we can experience our need for a Savior and His ready embrace.

All I know is that I want to be ready when I stand before God and that I have not wasted my life. But today, I am ashamed that I call myself a Christian when I have never once prayed for a friend who is a non believer that he/she might accept Jesus one day. I am ashamed that I always have hundred reasons not to attend church. I am ashamed that somedays I get too busy at work to spend even 2 minutes to thank God who gives me good health so that I can do my work. I am ashamed that some nights I don’t even pray.